Happy Monday fabulous people! I’m back again giving you MaseTV’s Random Ass Moments of the Week, keeping you up to date with the crazy world that we live in. So for this week’s scoop:
-The Carters Can Buy Us All:
Mr. and Mrs Jay-Z have enough money to adopt all of New York City, ladies and gentleman. Jay-Z and Beyonce topped Forbes 2013 list of highest grossing couples, coming in at a whopping 95 million dollars made between June 2012 and 2013. They beat out Brad and Angelina and all of these other couples I don’t really know or care about for the top spot. Between their million dollar concerts and endorsement deals, these hard-working people deserve every dollar of their empire. Maybe if you give Blue Ivy a big cut, she can actually smile in a photo? Yes? No? She’s just always going to have that sad face of hating life when she’s filthy rich? Oh ok, I see.
-Alex and Piper no more: Orange is The New Black’s Laura Prepon returning for one episode or whole season???
If you love Crazy Eyes just as much as I do (chocolate and vanillaaaaaaa swirllllllll) then you are just as anxious as I am to find out if Prepon is retuning as Piper’s love interest Alex on Season 2 of Orange is the New Black, the hit Netflix series. It was reported before that she was only returning for one episode, but as of recently she stated that she can’t “wait to get back to shooting Season 2”. But for the whole season or just one episode child?!?!?!? Alex and Piper give that show so much depth, because you don’t want them together but they love each other so much! Laura stop acting like you have all of these offers on the table, and get this Netflix money honey. You know you ain’t got nothing better to do, so stay with the show!! And if you haven’t seen Season 1 of OITNB, then GET YOUR LIFE!!!!
-Life After Drunk: Woman gets sentenced to Life after DUI arrests:
Seems like the state of Texas is not playing when it comes to DUI’s anymore!!! A woman by the name of Rose Ann Davidson got sentence to LIFE in prison following her 6th arrest for driving under the influence. Beginning in 1996, Davidson has been in prison 5 times for her DUI convictions, and instead of giving her some lengthy years behind bars or even revoking her license, they take her life away and lock her up and throw away the key! Now when she was caught on the interstate with the open container of beer sitting next to her, it definitely did not help her situation. But to give her life while George Zimmerman and Casey Anthony are just relaxing in Florida with a Sex on The Beach drink in their hand is absurd. Maybe Florida is just a jacked up state. In any case, don’t drink and drive lovely’s, it could be the end of your life in more ways than one.
Miley Cyrus, you hot ass mess you. Her and the gorgeous Liam Hemsworth have separated and reports are saying that he cheated on the songstress, which I don’t believe ONE BIT. I think her raunchy over the top need to prove her ratchet status was too much for the Australian boy to handle. Pictures surfaced on famed photographer Terry Richardson’s blog of Miley and her producer “friend” Mike Will Made it, that looked a littleeeeee suspicious. They are closer as ever now that she’s single, so do you think they are humping around? Ummm YES!!! I think he fills Miley up with drugs and alcohol all day and tells her how good of an artist she is, then takes advantage of her in the studio as she twerks it on him. Miley, nobody wants to put a ring on that foam finger. But looking at Mike, he probably loves this little white girl jocking him. Just put on some clothes girls, come on. Your body looks like a straw on crack.
-Kerry Washington & the Emmy’s: SHE BETTER WIN!!!!
Tonight the 2013 Emmy’s will be televised, and if Kerry Washington doesn’t win, IT’S A SCAM!!! Scandal is the hottest show on television right now, and as an African-American woman, Kerry is setting the bar for sophistication and poise unlike anyone else in the TV game. Her nomination for Best Actress in a Drama for the ABC series marks the first time in 18 years a woman of color has been nominated, and if awarded, she will be the first to win. A secret marriage, a hit television show and possibly a BABY on the way (she’s been hiding that tummy!!), this is your year Kerry and I wish you the best of luck! You go girl!!!!!!
-Janelle Monae: Straight, Gay, or Prince?
Janelle Monae has never been in a public relationship, and she won’t tell the world which cup of tea she likes to stir her finger in either. While doing her promo rounds for her new LP The Electric Lady, she stated that “women are amazing…and so are guys”. She later went on to say that “there is nothing wrong with being bisexual or gay”, and that she” didn’t want to let anybody down” by revealing her sexuality. You either are the female version of Prince and you love them all, or you know you need to sell records and want to be in everybody’s fantasy world. You’re talented enough for people not to care honey. But I would LOVE to know what your perfect threesome situation would be, I’m just saying.
-President Obama is going to be Funny or Die Trying:
The Obama Administration is turning a new leaf in their marketing strategies to promote their affordable healthcare act, ObamaCare. Jennifer Hudson, Amy Poehler, and Micheal Cera are just some of the celebrities who filmed a short sketch with the POTUS in the Roosevelt Room of the White House recently for the hilarious website Funny or Die. The segment is supposed to make you laugh, yet convince Americans to support the ObamaCare act as much as possible. The video will premiere September 30th for the website and I hope this helps pass the piece of legislation, so that all Americans can be afforded the liberty of being taken care of. Hope the sketch is funny though, because then it would just be a waste of time. Good luck!!
Well, that raps of this week of events. Hope to see you all TUESDAY at the MaseTV LAUNCH PARTY where we can talk about random ass events in our lives. Until then, Tinaya will say whatever she wants. Peace!!