Ladies we notice all the red flags about a jerk ex-boyfriend after we already let him break our hearts. However, what happens when we pay attention to those red flags early on? Could we possibly be saving ourselves from another heartbreak? Many know that a person shows you exactly who they are within the first 5 minutes of meeting them, sometimes women just choose to ignore what a guy is showing them from the beginning and believe that he has the potential to become your ideal image of him.
But Ladies honestly, we can’t change nobody, let alone a man. A man will be exactly who he wants to be, and will change on his own time and accord. Instead of trying to change a man, we need to change ourselves and just pay attention to those red flags from jump to avoid the crying in the future.
Here are 10 Red Flags to Look out for Before Making him your Boyfriend:
1. He Doesn’t Call You
A major red flag from the beginning to avoid a jerk dude, is if he doesn’t call you. We told you in 10 Ways to Know You’re The Side Chick, that any dude who is really into a woman will do whatever it takes to woo her…..including partake in the necessary 3 hour phone convos during the first stages of getting to know someone. If your mate refuses to talk to you on the phone longer than 30 minutes, then why want to make someone like that your man???? Major red flag!
2. You Don’t Know Where He Lives
Many women unfortunately have put themselves in a situation where they begin to date a man without knowing the important and valuable information like his area of residence! If your mate avoids allowing you inside of his home, and only resorts to meeting you places, that might be something you want to keep in mind before making it official. He might possibly be living with a special “roommate” with benefits. Notice the red flags.
3. It Hasn’t Been That Long Since He Broke up With his Previous Girlfriend
If it’s been less than a year since he broke up with his previous girlfriend, and he’s already dropping the L-Bomb, and wanting to make you his next girlfriend…..Ummmm Ladies you might be dealing with a dude who has no idea what he wants, and “falls in love” with every new woman who catches his eye. It might only be a matter of time before you become his new ex-girlfriend. That’s a major red flag.
4. You Started as the Side Chick and Became the Main Chick
Ladies……too many of us know this all to well ( Ask Alicia Keys and Angelina Jolie). If you started out as the side chick, while he was dating his ex, then he broke things off with his ex to make things with you official; that is something to consider before deciding to become his next girlfriend. This guy obviously cares more for his feelings than anyone else’s, and you definitely want to watch out for that red flag before you allow him to get a new side chick to possibly replace you. Watch out Ladies, the red flags are out.
5. He Never Let’s You See His Phone
This is always a #1 red flag to watch out. If he doesn’t let you freely go through his phone from time to time, then he definitely has things to hide. Why ignore that when he wants to give you the title of his “girlfriend” because you can’t be upset when one day you find explicit texts in his phone……Ask Evelyn Lozada!!!
6. He Shows Signs of Controlling Behavior
He likes to be the dominant force in bed. He demands you to pick up his calls on the first ring. He gets livid if he calls you and you don’t immediately respond. The list goes on of controlling behavior that us ladies pass off as “cute”. It’s always cute in the beginning when a guy shows you that he cares about you, but there’s a fine line between caring about someone, and being obsessive over them. So pay attention Ladies, and avoid getting wifed up by the next Ike Turner.
7. He’s A Major Momma’s Boy/Lives With his Mom
Ladies we all know the dudes who are attached at the hip with their moms. Not that it’s not cute, but a Mother who spoils her son is a hard match to follow. You’ll find yourself competing against a woman you’ll never win against. If he lives with his Mom, that’s even worse. That means all he’s use to is being taken care of, and he’s looking for a new woman to take care of him like his Mommy does. Good luck making that man happy!
8. He’s Still Really Close to his Ex
It’s pretty awkward when you’re dating someone and he’s talking or texting his former significant other right in front of your face. Ummmmm AWKWARD!!!!! If your spouse and his ex are still close, that’s signs that they’re both still holding on to the past that they once shared. It might be hard to compete with her, as she continues to build history with your man, while you constantly try to begin yours. A man who is still very close with his ex, if definitely a man you want to avoid making your boyfriend, while he figures out exactly what he wants.
9. He’s Very Flirtatious with Other Women
There’s nothing wrong with being friendly towards others, but openly flirting with other women right in front of your girlfriend, is plain disrespectful. If he’s at least open to controlling his flirtatious behavior for you, then you can consider taking things further. But, if you confront him about his flirty ways and he says, “relax I’m just being nice”, then you definitely want to avoid making that inconsiderate jerk your boyfriend. Major red flag!!!
10. He Has A lot of Selfish Tendencies
Most of the red flags listed in this post are selfish tendencies, but if you notice many others in your mate, then don’t ignore them. Pay attention to the characteristics he is showing you, and guard your heart Ladies. A man is who he chooses to become, you can’t change him. Only he can change himself. If you know he’s selfish then give him time to grow, while you remain his friend. Don’t jeopardize your happiness and peace of mind for someone who only cares about theirs.