Love and Hip Hop Atlanta Recap: Love, Lies and Lettuce

Rasheeda-and-Kirk
Rasheeda-and-Kirk

This week’s episode of Love and Hip Hop Atlanta started off where last week’s left off, at the cabin of sin!

 Kirk continued his “Worst-Husband-That-Ever-Did-It” campaign with flawless execution.  Kirk took his debauchery to the next level by having a ménage a trios with “Popcorn hoe” number one and two.  But, here’s the best part: according to Kirk, Rasheeda, his pregnant wife of 15 years, did not actually have a right to be mad about any of this foolery because she uttered the all-inclusive instructions, “Do you” before he left their home.

Kirk

 

Of course, Rasheeda meant that Kirk should take some time to collect his thoughts.  However, Kirk used her words as a “free pass” to sow his wild oats up, down and throughout a lakeside cabin.  Even “no neck” Benzino tried to warn Kirk, after the fact, that what he was doing could be damaging to his already rocky marriage.  Fans of the show were not beat for Kirk’s excuse.  As one fan put it, “Do you means just that ‘do you’, not do any and everybody! Kirk knew better!” PREACH!

K.Michelle hunts for back-up singers.

Meanwhile, K. Michelle, whose preparing for her first headlining tour, held auditions for backup singers and guess who asked to audition? Ariane!

First thought: Who?

Second thought: Since when did Ariane become an aspiring anything, let alone a singer?

Well, apparently Ariane has had dreams of becoming a singing sensation ever since she was a little girl.  *Kanye shrug*  Ariane ends up coming to K Michelle’s audition and is roasted by one of K. Michelle’s crew members, Mike.  Mike compares Ariane’s voice to the sound of “a cat dying in heat”!  To be honest, Ariane’s voice was a little off point, but Mike took it too far.  He seemed as if he was auditioning for Simon Cowell’s old gig on American Idol.  However, K. Michelle had Ariane’s back and in a shockingly calm manner she told Mike to bring it down a notch. Go K. Michelle!

Momma Dee getting heated.

Now for a report on the royal kingdom of ratchetness that is Momma Dee’s life.  With Scrappy away in jail, Erica decided to pawn her engagement ring to make ends meet and Momma Dee was right by her side.  Momma Dee could not wait for that “B-I-C-T-H” to give up that ring and relinquish her position in the royal kingdom.  As Momma Dee put it, “Back to the barn bitches!”

Later on in the episode, Scrappy is released from jail and Momma Dee throws him a welcome home party that quickly erupts into an all-out war between the royal ratchets and the common ratchets.  Momma Dee and Erica’s mother almost come to blows.  Scrappy puts his hands on Erica’s mother in an attempt to stop the escalation of tensions; however, in true Love and Hip Hop fashion, his actions only further fueled the foolery.  Erica lunged at Scrappy for putting those paws on her mother and somehow Erica ended up flying across the room and landing on the floor.  Note: there is no camera evidence that Scrappy even touched Erica.  Bodyguards rushed in by the boatload and the party was over.

Stevie and Joseline plan for their future.

Of course, no Love and Hip Hop Atlanta recap is complete without a Mimi-Stevie-Joseline love triangle update.  Just as Mimi predicted, Stevie tried to use the beamer he bought her as a means to get some “lettuce”.  Lettuce: as in a “head” of lettuce, also referred to as fellatio. Mimi was not having it and she promptly returned the keys to the car and told Stevie to SWERVE!  Meanwhile, Joseline, still on her quest to become wifey, demanded that Stevie and her move in together.  After some protest, Stevie gave in, figuring that if he can’t be with the one he loves, he might as well be with the one he…….well you know!

Kirk tries explaining himself to Rasheeda.

Last night’s episode ended on a very sad note with the heartbroken Rasheeda and dirt-bag Kirk saga.  Traci—who I did not even mention in the recap before now, because who really cares—ratted out Kirk about his cabin adventures to Rasheeda.  It was tough to watch a “fifteen-month pregnant” looking Rasheeda cry and describe how hurt and embarrassed she was.  And Kirk’s response, “You said to ‘do me’”.  Classic Kirk.  Rasheeda had a movie classic moment of her own as she threw all of Kirk’s clothes out of their home and threatened to light them on fire, “Waiting to Exhale” style.  Altogether, it was one hell of an episode! Tell us what you thought about it!

Watch Season 2: Episode 12 in 3 minutes

All photos courtesy of VH1.com

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