I first want to start off by saying that I am happily in a committed relationship, but feel the need to share this story in order to help out my girls out there who think there are no good guys left out there.
I for one believe that there are tons of good men currently available and looking to possibly settle down. However, the ratio to good guys and good quality girls might not be even. I say all this to make the point that there are actually a great amount of good guys out there the same way there are an abundance of good women. Just ask yourself if you’re able to attract them, and then ask why or why not.
I don’t think more men are attracted to me because I’m not single, I think more good quality men are attracted to me because of how I carry myself! So on to my “reading a book on the train story”.
I was on my way to work and engulfed in one of my many self empowerment books. Self help books are my favorite because it makes more sense to me to read something that is going to build me up rather than break me down, or distract me from what really matters in life (which isn’t fiction, mystery and/or romance, etc). I read so many books that I can’t exactly remember which book I was reading, but I know it was one where I read each chapter twice, and highlighted points that stuck out the most to me. (I’m guessing that I was reading “Battlefield of the Mind” by Joyce Meyers because my boo Joyce spits that realness that makes me want to read each chapter twice to make sure I fully digested the purpose for that particular chapter.)
I had sat next to a guy that I paid no attention to because I was busy reading, and he seemed like he “sleeping” (NY’ers tend to fake sleep on the train where we might have our eyes closed but we’re actually fully awake and aware of everything that is going on). I eventually felt a light nudge from the guy sitting next to me as he leaned in closer and asked if I was reading this for class. When I let him know that I was reading the book for my own personal pleasure his eyes seemed to widened and that former sleepy look was now gone as he began asking me questions on why I was reading the book, what I did for a living, and what my personal hobbies and interest are. It was at this point in time when I finally gave him a good look over and realized “Damn! This brotha is fine”. He did ask for my number and if he could take me out for dinner sometime. I kindly declined but that moment continues to stick with me.
I have so many female friends who tell me how hard it is for them to find a good quality attractive guy. Meanwhile here I am attracting men left and right while being in a relationship. I personally feel like many women aren’t presenting themselves as a desirable prospect to the average sexy and single guy. Ask yourself a few questions:
. Do I come off as ambitious, intellectual, or confident during a quick glance?
. What’s unique about me?
. What are my deepest ambitions? (Most men want a woman with her own goals and aspirations and lose interest in an ambitionless woman)
. Despite how tired I was when I woke up this morning , did I put any effort into my outfit and beauty regimen?
I don’t mean to come off super shallow, but I think much of what attracts men to good woman is the ability to see the effort a woman takes before leaving the house. They also like to see signs of confidence and ambition as these are sure qualities of an independent woman who will only add value to their life and not more responsibility.
If you’re having difficulty with attracting a desirable mate it might be time to put yourself through your own personal charm school. Find ways to challenge yourself in new and exciting ways. Read more. Go on personal dates with yourself more. Play around with your hair and makeup more. Wear new colors and prints. Take a yoga and pilates class.
Make sure you’re falling in love with yourself more and more everyday. There’s no way to expect someone to love you if you’re not loving yourself first.
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