Breakups are some of the most heartbreaking and defining moments in your life, and almost always come with a lesson for you to learn and develop from. No one is immune to a heartbreak, it honestly happens to the best of us. However, that doesn’t make it any easier to deal with……especially for women.
Women are naturally emotional beings that let their heart guide them rather than logic, or ego, like many men do. A man can usually get over a breakup way faster than a female, depending on the breakup and type of guy he is. However, for women, we tend to drive ourselves crazy during a breakup, and these days social media only makes getting through a break up much worse. It’s so easy to spy on him and see what he’s up to via Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram. We all want to know if he seems fine with the breakup and if he’s out there living life (because most men are great fronters). The women are left feeling hurt, betrayed, and used.
No matter what the situation is, a woman must always know her worth, and never allow a man, or anyone for that matter, to make her feel any less about herself than before the relationship started. In honor of Women’s History Month, I’m giving my ladies tips on how to detox, and get your ex out of your system.
Here are 12 Tips to Help You Get Over Him:
- Did Both of Your Goals Really Align?
Be honest with yourself. Could you two really of had a good future together? Were your lifelong goals in alignment with his? Women tend to make excuses for the people we date, even if we know it’s not good for us in the end. If you had high aspirations and plans for your future, and all he wanted was to “get money”, or never had a clear idea of where he wanted to go in life, then don’t sell yourself short by thinking losing him was a loss to you. Let his immature and confused ass go. You’re worth way more, and letting him go will help open the window of opportunity for you to actually meet someone more compatible with you on multiple levels.
- Are They Really Even That Attractive?
We all have different preferences in who we fall for, and are attracted to. But why even allow yourself to be heartbroken over someone who you know for a fact doesn’t rate that high on the physical attraction scale. Not to be shallow, but if this person didn’t see the benefit in keeping you in their life, and has a slight resemblance to Gucci Mane mixed with Rick Ross, how could you allow yourself to feel like the world is over?!?! Honey the world has just begun for you, and you should feel happy and relieved.
- Was the Sex That Amazing?
Be honest now that the relationship is over….. you can admit that the sex wasn’t that great! You made the best of it while you were together, because you were really into him, but the lack of foreplay, and the general pump action never really helped you reach your climax during your love-making sessions. You felt like apart of being in a relationship involved making due with what your partner gave you, but now you’re free to do what truly satisfies you, and makes you happy. The first thing on your list should be to get some good lovin pronto!!!!
- Get A Rebound That Actually Interests You
Dating a rebound guy/girl after a breakup can go good, or can go really bad, but regardless of the turnout, make it work in your best interest. The way to ensure a more enjoyable experience with a rebound is to date a rebound that you’re actually interested in. Don’t just date them because they’re giving you attention that you enjoy, date them because you’re attracted to them, and you can actually enjoy yourself when being with him/her. Regardless if it works out or not with them, at least you enjoyed yourself, and gained a new friend in the process.
- Get A Pet
A pet is usually every owner’s best friend, so why not gain in a new friend to help you in getting over your recent loss. A cute puppy, kitten, or even fish, will help occupy your time and catch your attention during those moments when you catch yourself missing your ex. Research which pet you think will match your lifestyle (cats need way less maintenance and are widely popular among single women), and visit your nearest animal shelter to seal the deal.
- Read A Book
Quite often, women tend to neglect normal pass times, or productive activity, by dedicating all of their free time to their lover. Well now that you’re single it’s time the perfect time to start being productive and exercising your brain. Go to the nearest book store and buy a few books of interests. Reading will help stimulate your mind, occupy your time, and help expand your vocabulary….Now that sounds like a girl anyone would be crazy to leave!
- Pick Up A New Hobby
When is the last time you spent time doing something you’re naturally passionate about? Start doing yoga, start your own blog, own your MUA skills and start Youtube beauty tutorials, go wine tasting with friends. Get back in touch with what makes you truly happy. You don’t need a significant other to enjoy life. Get a hobby and be happy.
- Spend More Time With Your Friends
What are friends for if they’re not there for you when you’re down? You actually tend to have some of the best moments with your friends when you’re going through something, because you tend to be more open and honest in your heart-to-heart talks. We all know the vulnerability levels are usually high when going through a breakup, and that’s nothing a group of your closest friends can’t help you get through. Friends help keep your time, and mind, occupied off of reality. While you’re getting lost in fun/random moments with your girls, who cares what you’re ex is doing?!
- Take A Self Retreat
Self reflection times are so rejuvenating to the mind, body, and soul. What’s better than taking a mini vaca after a bad breakup, to help you center yourself, and heal. Nothing better than making a 4 day escape to a spa resort after a really bad breakup, a road trip to the midwest, or even a wild party session in Miami, Cancun, or Dominican Republic! Do whatever you need to do in order to get back in touch with you.
- Pray and Meditate
The power of the mind is something that goes unnoticed far too often. You possess the power to turn any situation to work in your favor by choosing to be at peace. The process can only be truly mastered through prayer and meditation, which both lead to self-control. No matter how hard the breakup may be, through a strong connection with your center, your core, your spirit; you can allow yourself to heal and move forward from the situation without feeling regret about it.
- Take A Visit to the Sex Toy Shop
Yes honey! Nobody knows you’re body better than you! Your ex might have been good in bed, but you’re better! Visit your favorite local toy shop, or even go online, and find a few devices that work for you, and enjoy! Nobody can satisfy you better than yourself.
- Stop Secretly Looking at his Pics and Status Updates
Honey….it’s over. Stop secretly stalking him and move on. Especially if from the looks of his pictures, he is living and enjoying life without you. People come into your life for a reason, or a season, and girl his season has passed. Stop logging into your friend’s account to spy on him, and see what he’s up to, because you’re only stressing yourself out and driving yourself crazy. Do whatever you can to keep your mind off of him. Of course you’re going to periodically think about him, and want to reminisce, but don’t let those moments get the best of you. At least try.
No one said breakups and heartbreaks were easy. It’s a normal and necessary part of life. Breakups happen to the best of us homegirl, so stand strong, keep your head held high, and live your fabulous life honey! The more your ex sees you living, the more they’ll remember what THEY once had! Work it ladies!!!